Combinations...the spice of life?

Often times, combining 2 different items can yield something truly amazing...case in point:





Chocolate + peanut butter= genius!

Sometimes, it can be taken a bit too far...case in point:

Bacon flavoring + mayonnaise= heart attack




And periodically, someones takes it too far, case in point:

Arm wrestling +...oh, never mind...just watch the clip.

For Adam...

The Stink in Farts Controls Blood Pressure For all you men out there, the next time you rip one, and your wife gives you a dirty look, just tell her you're regulating your blood pressure (unless you're sitting next to me at the movie theater, in which case, just hold it).

Does this mean beans could be considered blood pressure medication? Will Pfizer attempt to develop a super gas producing legume?

What Motivates You?

To be successful in the fitness industry, a basic knowledge of psychology is required, specifically when it comes to motivating clients. Every one of us has different motivators...for instance, one of my male clients has 2 young daughters, and when his motivation in the gym is lagging, I remind him, “Pushing yourself harder on this exercises, will most likely improve your odds of surviving a heart attack...which will save your wife the trouble of finding someone else to walk your daughters down the aisle on their wedding day." See, I'm a master motivator! But you know what? It works. Motivating women however, requires a different tactic. Usually, visual aids are required...and when one of my female clients is needing a motivational boost, I give her a copy of the following article. Now, if you're easily offended, then do not read any further. However, if your will power and motivation in the gym is waning, they print the following article and carry a copy in your gym bag, or tape it to your refrigerator.

5 Things That Have Been Found In Fat People’s Skin Folds

5. A Turkey Sandwich
According to an emergency room doctor: “A morbidly obese man with a large abdominal pannus (stomach overhang) came in exhibiting red, irritated skin around the abdomen.It looked like a routine skin infection. But what was the cause? During the exam, I lifted the pannus and a turkey sandwich fell from between his folds. The man said it was about a month old, which the smell confirmed.”




4. Loose Change
According to an RN: “We got a lady who was admitted because her many decubiti needed debriding (aka, her bedsores needed to be treated). She had several of them, and was so fat, she was as wide as she was tall. I took all of her clothes off and prepared to dress and document all of her wounds.Part of her abdomen and one of her breasts were greenish; I thought she had a fungus or something. I started wiping it off and followed it up to a skin fold, where I found . . . a quarter, a dime, and a penny–that was oxidizing and was turning her skin green. There were perfectly round sores underneath each coin. The smell was lovely too.”




3. A Packet of Duck Sauce, other stuff.
According to a hospital worker: “A 600+ lb woman comes in. It takes 8 people to transfer her from the ambulance stretcher to the bed. When removing said patient’s clothing from her, in the folds of her abdomen, we find: a paperclip, a plastic fork and a package of duck sauce.”






2. A Couch (Yes, a couch)
According to a Stuart, Florida news station: “Gayle Laverne Grinds, 40, died Wednesday, after a failed six-hour effort to dislodge her from the couch in her home. Workers say the home was filthy, and Grinds was too large to get up from the couch to even use the bathroom.Everyone going inside the home had to wear protective gear. The stench was so powerful they had to blast in fresh air. Emergency workers had to remove some sliding glass doors and lift the couch, with Grinds still on it, to a trailer behind a pickup truck. Removing her from the couch would be too painful, since her body was grafted to the fabric. After six years of staying put, her skin had literally become one with the sofa and had to be surgically removed. She died at Martin Memorial Hospital South, still attached to the couch.”






1. Pot
According to a Jacksonville, Florida (it’s always Florida) news station: “Officers said Cedric Webb, 25, was at the Montgomery Correctional Center on the Northside on Friday night when officers searching for contraband told him to lift his shirt.According to the police report, when Webb raised his shirt, the officer saw two bags of marijuana and tobacco tucked into his stomach fat. Investigators said the drugs then fell to the ground.The report said Webb would not explain how he got the banned substances into the facility. The arrest report describes Webb as 6 feet 2 inches tall and 290 pounds and his build as ‘heavy.’”

Props to HolyTaco.com for the story

The Banana Diet

Just when you think the world has seen every diet imaginable (who can forget the cabbage soup diet?), someone has to go and "invent" one that makes you shake your head in disbelief. Check this out:

Japan Goes Bananas for a New Diet
By Michiko Toyama Friday, Oct. 17, 2008

Keiko Akai is very annoyed. The attractive 21-year-old university student has been planning to do a banana diet for some time now, but she can't get started — and not for lack of trying. "I keep going to OK Store, my local supermarket every single day," she says. "In fact, I've just been there. There are no bananas on the shelves, and it's been like that for a month."

Akai has never weighed more than 100 pounds, and is so slim that her waist is swimming in Zara's smallest size XS skirt. She doesn't need to lose any weight. But Japanese girls obsessed with diets tend to jump at any trendy new ones, so, when Akai heard about a popular actress who'd lost 26 pounds through the Morning Banana Diet, she had to try it. And the dearth of bananas as her local supermarket, and many others, is testimony to the popularity of the new dieting fad.
The Morning Banana Diet regime is simple: A banana (or as many as you want) and room temperature water for breakfast; eat anything you like for lunch and dinner (by 8 p.m.). A three o'clock snack is okay, but no desserts after meals, and you have to go to bed before midnight. Sumiko Watanabe, a pharmacist in Osaka designed this stress-free diet to help increase the metabolism of her husband Hitoshi Watanabe, who had been rather overweight. In due course, Mr. Watanabe lost 37 pounds and introduced the diet on mixi, one of Japan's largest social networking services. Banana Diet books published since March have sold over 730,000 copies, and some have been translated and published in South Korea and Taiwan. The diet became even more popular after a TV program featured a singer who had lost 15 pounds in just six weeks. It was literally the day after that program aired that the shortage of bananas first became evident. "Bananas suddenly flew off the shelves, there was a 70%-80% increase in weekly sales compared to the same period last year," says Takeshi Ozaki, a spokesperson of Life Corporation that runs 201 supermarkets throughout Japan.

When this article hit internet, I was contacted by a newspaper reporter, who wanted the opinion of a fitness professional for a piece she was writing on the diet. Judging by the leading questions the reporter was asking, it was obvious she wanted my to say that bananas are indeed the answer to the global obesity problem. But that's not the case. I pointed out to her that any weight loss experienced by people on this diet, is mostly due to 2 of the 4 requisites for the diet.

1. Breakfast. It's been estimated that over 70% of Americans do not eat anything for breakfast. Most Americans eat their first meal between 2-3 hours AFTER waking up. Unfortunately, this practice causes undesirable hormonal fluctuations, that cause your energy levels to crash faster that my Pfizer stock and has you scrambling for the closest vending machine. The Banana Diet requires you to eat a banana (real food) or as many as you'd like, thus sparing your blood sugar levels and metabolism from hitting rock bottom. Don't under estimate the importantce of breakfast when it comes to fat loss. The National Weight Control Registry (http://www.nwcr.ws/) has tracked the results of thousands of people who have lost an average of 66 lbs and kept it off for at least 5.5 years, and found that 78% of their members eat breakfast every day. There is nothing inherently magical about bananas, the people on the diet could've eaten apples and had the same results.
2. Sleep. The Banana Diet requires that you got to bed before midnight. Sleep is another overlooked aspect of fat loss. The human body requires a minimum of 7-9 hours of uninterrupted sleep for optimum health and performance. Anything less and your body is producing cortisol by the bucket load. Cortisol is a catabolic stress hormone that will eat your muscle and cause your body to store body fat in your naval region. The less muscle mass you have, the slower your metabolism becomes. I have had numerous clients report increased fat loss from getting extra sleep on a regular basis, without any change to their food intake.

So, once I explained away the mystique behind the Banana Diet, the reporter politely told me that she had to take another "urgent" phone call. She hasn't called back. But that's alright...you now know something that 99% of her readers don't.

Welcome!

Thank you for joining me for my inaugural post. I had originally resisted the idea of starting my own blog, as most of the ones I've read were nothing more that thinly veiled attempts at blatant self-promotion, trying to sell you some crappy service or product, and I didn't want to be associated with "them." I realized, however, that by taking the opposite approach, a blog would allow me to reach, and more importantly, inform a larger audience than I ever could in person.

My promise to you, is that my blog will inform you on anything and everything pertaining to athletic performance, fitness, and health. You will get the most up-to-date and unbiased information possible. And along the way, we'll have a few laughs as well.